I'm a Modern Bride

As you may remember from a previous post several months ago, I was interviewed for an article in Modern Bride Magazine. Well, I went to the store this week and the article has been published. It's in the October/November issue. Kind of exciting as I have never been in a magazine before. The article is called 'In Sickness and in Health' It's about 'when serious illness affects wedding plans, how to brides, grooms, and families cope?'

I am in 2 small parts of the article but it was fun to read my name. The article is such a good article and I actually found myself almost emotional reading about other people's stories. Although the stories were different (and most of time a lot worse off then I was) I found myself relating to every single emotion they describe in that article. That month between when I was diagnosed and when we got married was such an emotional roller coaster that re-living it through this article was a little difficult.

Anyways, don't feel like you have to go buy the magazine, unless you really want to. Next time you see me, I'll show it to you if you ask.

I'M DONE!!!

What else can I really say...I'm done with ALL my treatments and that I really have Kicked Hodgkin's Lymphoma's Butt right out of my body. I'm officially a Cancer Survivor!

I had my last Radiation Treatment today. And now I don't have to go back to the Cancer Clinic for 4 weeks. Wow...that sounds sooo nice.

All the radiation staff signed a certificate of completion for me:



When you get done with your treatment they have a Bell for you to ring. I've heard the bell many times while in the waiting room and was so excited for the day I got to have my 'Bell Ringing Ceremony' as I call it.



Brigitte came with me for the experience and to photograph the event.


My cousin Travis, who works at the clinic, showed up for the bell ringing ceremony.



And here is the 'Bell Ringing Ceremony'

So this is it...I'm done. Of course there will always be follow up appointments and check ups for a long time but for now I am trying to put it out of my head and get back to life without cancer. I can't wait...

One big THANK YOU to everyone for all their support through this. I can't even begin to name names, so I won't but everyone has been so supportive and great through this and it's really helped me keep my spirits up and get through it all.

I am not sure what this blog will become now. I haven't decided if I am going to continue and just post regular updates on my life or if I will leave this blog dedicated to my cancer life and start a new one. I'm going to take a break, hopefully not too long, and I'll let you know when I decide.

An apology with a safe picture

So I feel I need to post a little apology for my last post. I really had no idea how shocked everyone would be over the pictures. Obviously I don't see myself like that, since I am in the mask so I didn't think people would think I looked so weird.

But, I made a girl at work tear up, being fore-warned my dad refuses to look at the pictures and Brigitte wouldn't even comment or barely talk to me about it. Yep, everyone thinks I look like a corpse in the picture. Maybe because it's in a large sterile looking room, or that I have a hospital gown on, or the fact that my face is covered up, or that I am laying on a flat table. Not sure which of those contribute most to my corpse look a like but I guess I can kind of see why no one liked the picture. Remember I said I was smiling, doesn't that count for anything to help the situation?? :)

Ok so to redeem myself from the last post and to help push that post down a little further on the page, I decided to take a picture of myself so you can all see how much my hair has grown in. I made it stand up so you can see the length. I wore it like this all day Saturday out shopping. Shane thinks my hair is in the 'in-between' stage that people are going to look at me and think 'Did she have cancer or does she like her hair cut that way?'



Radiation is still going well, only 3 more to go. I have a little bump in my throat but it's pretty minimal and just a mere inconvenience at this point. I have been getting a little more tired but all in all still feel pretty good. No hair loss yet...

Once again, sorry if I freaked out my readers. I hope I didn't scare you away. I promise not to post any more freaky pictures. Please keep reading and commenting.

Radiation Update

I am more then half way done with my radiation and so far so good. I have felt little to no side effects. Starting just yesterday when I swallow food it feels like it gets stuck going down, which they said I would experience. But so far it's not painful, although I think they expect that to change with some type of sore throat coming soon. I haven't lost my hair in the back yet and my doctor said I won't lose it until they very end of treatment, so some time next week. Other then that I am feeling really good.

So I finally took some picture, well the nurse took some pictures of me in my 'mask' right before treatment today. Yes I am under that big white thing and yes I did smile when she said 1,2,3 which I thought was pretty funny but I am sure just a habit, for both of us. So that white mask is molded to my face and I can't really move at all when they put it on and strap it down to the table. I can barely say ok, yes, or no if they talk to me.

This first one shows the holes in the plastic that allow me to breathe.


This next one shows the round marking where they line the machine up to and the radiation affects anywhere on the inside of the red lines. The masking tape is to block out certain parts, so they don't hit my mouth or my throat and spinal cord.


This last picture shows the machine (above me) they move my table back to that machine and line it up exactly as needed.


They are very exact with their numbers and where they place it. Once I'm all lined up, they leave the room and the machine zaps me (I don't feel anything) 2 different times for about 10 seconds each time. Then they come back in, unsnap me and I am done.

Anyways, hopefully you found this interesting. I think it's pretty interesting and they certainly have it all down, so it's quick and easy. I have just been taking an extended lunch each day and go up there and then back to work.

I was going to post a picture of how much my hair has been growing back but I will wait until next week and post it with another update.

I'm Radiating

Yes...that's right...my radiation has begun. I went in yesterday for my 'trial run' and they offered to just start my treatment that day. I was really excited to hear this because that means I will get done Friday, Sept. 5, instead of waiting until that Monday, Sept. 8, for my last treatment. That also means I will be completely done with all treatment 2 days before my birthday. What a nice birthday present that will be for me. When I was first diagnosed and Dr. Harker was going over my treatment schedule, I remember thinking that my goal is to be done before my birthday. In fact I told one of the chemo nurses that during one of my first treatments. So I made my goal with just 2 days to spare. Yippeeeee!! I was seriously perma-grin yesterday thinking that I have started my last phase of treatment. Who knew I could be so excited to start radiation, but I am! So I am not glowing from radiation, just radiating happiness that I am almost done.

ok so about radiation. It's actually quite uneventful, which of course I am not complaining about. I go in, change into a hospital gown, they bring me into the room with a big machine in the room (it's kind of like a CT Scan machine if you've ever seen those (and feel lucky if you haven't!) I lay down on the table, they put the 'face mask' over me that they molded to my face, and they strap it down to the table. They leave the room, line the machine up, and zap me. I don't feel anything at all, it just makes a loud buzzing sound for about 15 seconds. Then they move the machine to the next place, and zap me again. Then they come in and unstrap me. I go change and leave. All in all I am there for about 20 minutes. So far I haven't felt any side effects so I am feeling very normal. The side effects will probably come towards the end of next week they say.

So that's about it, I told you not that exciting. I still plan on taking pictures of my face mask and maybe the radiation machine but just haven't done it. I'll save that for a post maybe next week.

The Lighter Side

I had my radiation consultation this week. It is at the same clinic as where I have been going for chemo. There is a Chemo side of the clinic and a radiation side. As I walked into the Radiation side, several of the employees there greeted me with 'Welcome to the lighter side.' That sounded like good news to me. Everyone said that radiation is a breeze compared to chemo so I hope that is the case.

I met with my new doctor, Dr. Avizonis, a radiation oncologist. She is really nice and explained everything to me. So here is the run down on my next and last part of my treatment.

Having radiation ups my % points of my cancer not coming back. They like to do radiation anytime the tumor is more then 5 centimeters. Mine was 9. Those 2 factors is why I will be having radiation.

I will have 13 days of radiation. I go to the clinic every day (Mon-Fri) to receive radiation. The appointment is really fast though, they line me up to the machine, zap me really quick and I am done. So I will only miss an hour of work each day.

The most common side effects are fatigue, a sore throat, and skin redness (like a sunburn.) They say most of these side effects start towards the end of treatment and then go away pretty quickly after I am done. I will not get nauseous because they are radiating my neck and chest area where my tumor was. I guess you only get nauseous on radiation if they radiate your stomach areas. I will lose my hair on the back of my neck due to the radiation being targeted on my neck. A few more weeks of wearing a hat won't kill me, but the top of my hair is already growing back.

The other news that I think a lot of people will be disappointed in is that I don't have to get tattooed. I know everyone was anxious to see my tattoo dots. Instead they made a face and shoulder mold of me and they will put that on me each day and line the machine up to the marks on this cast type thing. So I will be strapped down but it will ensure that I don't move and am in the exact right position each day. To make up for not seeing my tattoos, I promise to take a picture of me in my 'mask.' Trust me it will be well worth it when you see this crazy thing over me. I wish I had my camera with me the other day, but I promise to post it next week.

So I start radiation next Wednesday, with a 'dry run' scheduled for the day before. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and there won't be any mishaps. The thing with radiation that makes me nervous is there can be some pretty permanent side effects if they aren't careful. But the benefits outweigh the risks by far so I am moving forward.

Keep praying for me! Thanks!

Normal Life - My Favorite Day at work!

Today is my favorite day at work this year. I was so excited to come to work today. I told Shane last night just how excited I was to go to work and he looked at me like why in the world would I be excited to go to work?? I know it sounds a little crazy as going to work, especially on a Monday, never sounds all that exciting.

However...going to work today means that I am not at the clinic getting chemo. This is the first 2nd Monday (since I go every other Monday) that I am not at the clinic since February! So as you can tell I am just happy to be living a normal life at work today. I am working hard, despite this quick break for the post. For those of you that don't know, I have been working pretty much full-time through this, so being at work isn't abnormal, just being at work on a day I am normally getting chemo is the reason for celebration.

Tomorrow I go to my radiation appointment and then soon after start radiation. Yuck, back to treatment, but that's the last step! So for today I am celebrating living a normal life at work. Maybe I'll go get a milkshake at lunch to celebrate!